Yessss, here is the first chapter of this brand new serie.
This is also the fruit of my very first commisionned comic and kindly brought to you by
GaidenHero so please be grateful cause it's thanks to him that you can enjoy this tonight !
As it's a commisionned comic, some new special stuff have been requested and I think can be spotted along the comic ^^
GaidenHero is really aiming for a series but it will only become one if it gets popular...So if you enjoy it, make sure you support it !
It's kinda different of what I'm used to render but give it a chance !
Last but not least before letting you enjoy the chapter, please note that this comic contains content which is only suitable for adults - All 3D models in this comic are 18+ years old intended.
Summary
A dark shadow looms over the light of humanity when a structure known only as the Tower of Sin rises from the depths of the Underground. Within its mysterious walls lie creatures and nightmares that threaten to not only pollute and corrupt the world, but to consume all life into its twisted and dark desires with a fog of sinister malice. Many ninja have said to journey to the tower to test their mantle and destroy what evil waits within, but none have ever returned. As the master of the tower peers forth from his dark and secluded chambers, his eyes pierce the only thing that is able to stand in his way.
A small ninja village, home to the Guardian Ninjas, lays remote and peaceful deep within the mountain forests. These ninjas have fought to maintain the balance of peace and chaos, not just within the world, but in the souls of mankind for generations. Their fame in the ninja world was renowned for the founder and best ninja of the clan slaying the demon within the tower walls centuries ago. As time passed, so did the facts, turning history into legends like bed time stories.
However, with the sudden and looming presence of the tower, the village sends out its best ninja, Aki, to deal with the immeasurable sinful presence. With all she holds dear in her heart, and with the dark desires of the most evil demons in the world waiting within, can Aki slay the dark soul of this structure or will it absorb her into its twisted and deviant soul for all eternity?
nice 1 shinra, I look forward to reading it. Out of interest how much would you charge for a commission of 20-30 pages?
ReplyDeleteThanks skittles !
DeleteI've just met somebody who's paying 25$/page so I think I should review my rate ^^
ahahaha I'm kidding you ;-)
Hey Shinra! Great Jobs as always!
ReplyDeleteBtw what's with multiple uploads?
Thanks G9 ;-)
DeleteI've just published then realised I had made a big mistake with some pages and that's why I had to cancel and publish again.
Lesson to be remembered I really should not rush to upload as I've noticed a lot of imperfections during my last check :'-(
Nice! The teaser for fallen star looks so amazing!!!!! Can't wait keep up the great work!
ReplyDeleteGreetz OwYeah
it's good, but don't know if very good, maybe because this is the first chapter but this doesn't blow my mind like the fallen star. the scene i like the most is the hallucination one, but all the rest, don't know, maybe just tu used to see demons and not ninja. Anyway well don shinra, i appreciate your hard work!
ReplyDeleteRemember the first chapter of Fallen Star...it was beuuuurk ;-)
Deletepicture 114
ReplyDeletea dick on the sword ???
What the f...... this is the pic I'm supposed to have deleted and that's why I had to republished on g.e. Hentai
DeleteSo Sorry you had to see this...will have to re-repulish again T_T
nice to see you back in action, although i have to say, that the Fallen-Star Saga of yours remains your stronger piece of art. The problem in my opinion is mostly this time not the visuals, which are just amazing again, it's more the lack of a strong female main character, which is corrupted first. I liked AKI and her visuals speak for themselves :-), but I couldn't like her as a person so much, that i really totally enjoyed her corruption, although this is a critic on a high note and your corruption-stories are far better than the most I know. Where I have to give you really a big credit is the new main-villain. Funny, smart and seriously sinister, one of the best bad guys i've seen so far in comics. So keep up on your good work and I am really curious for the new chapter of the FS-Saga.
ReplyDeleteGood point on the main heroine, but I think in this case it kind of works. I think the main character here, much like in the Silent Hill series, is the Tower and Villains rather than the hero. I think that the hero here still needs to be a strong character you care about, but also, one that won't topple the entire series if she is corrupted. The story is more about the approaching darkness and consumption of good than the good fighting off evil aspect we are normally used to.
DeleteThe Story allows us to not have one main protagonist, but in a sense many. The greatest hero the village had fell. We are left with a the sisters and the grand elder, and other ninja in the village. The story is the fight to fight back such a deity of evil rather than one woman taking it all on. Don't worry though, there still will be that one woman who is declared the last hope.
As for Aki, don't worry. She will be fleshed out by other means. By the end of this saga, characters and story will be fleshed out, and it will all come together nicely. Trust me :)
Absolutely loved this comic. The hypnosis and mind control scenes were really well done, and I appreciated the darker twist it took on making the ending panels (those who read will know what I mean what I say). I think we should give this series a chance though. I love Fallen Star too, but another story to compliment other aspects of the talents of the artist is good too. The story is pretty good for the first issue. We get a sense of character, danger, theme, and overall plot of where this series is going. It tries to be a bit more action based and experiments with different character and moods. Plus, remember that both still revolve around the hell aspect too. This tower is a tower of sin, a physical manifestation from the Underworld to our world. It is not too far to stretch that we haven't even begun to see what lies behind those walls.
ReplyDeleteAlso with more chapters comes more development of characters. I think in this issue we needed to get one thing from it. The strongest hero of the village feel to the darkness, leaving a void in the village most will not forget, especially her sisters. The fall of a hero kind of, just like in FA 1-3, just quickened.
The commissioner of the comic told me that the later chapters will expose more of the grander story, and that this issue was loosely based off of Adult Swim's Super House of Dead Ninja game. It was suppose to be about a hero going to the tower, finding the truth about their former hero, and succumbing to the Dark Lord within that tower, to set the stage for the next issues which will delve into more characters and develop them in a slightly different way than FA, which has a main focal point of one. Aki does still play a major part, but the story is not over for her nor the others.
It was good, Thumbs up
ReplyDeleteYou mean Aki is like evil sister of "La Blue Girl" from the Miroku clan? :P
ReplyDeleteThe art is well done, the story is fun. As log as it won't contain logical nonsenses like Fallen Star did, i'll follow this series.
Take care :)
Logical nonsenses in Fallen Star ?? please point them out in order for me to solve or explain them as I really pay attention to this and it pains me if I have made such mistakes >_<
DeleteHi, thank You for the reply, so to the point: for example it was said, that the sister of the main character was a virgin at that time, and then the panels show this: http://g.e-hentai.org/s/25ad777213/527950-104 and http://g.e-hentai.org/s/dee749c96b/527950-106
DeleteDon't want to sound smartass, just to put it in a humorous way: she either lied about her virginity or "what we have here is an example of a strange medical phenomenon" :P.
Similar lack of attention to detail can be seen in Your new ninja story (pages 77 and 86 have overlapping textures)- it's just a cosmetic so i didn't bother to mention it in my previous post.
Thank You for Your time
mmmh for Kimy no she did not lie about her being a virgin...let's say that I did not really bother drawing blood when she's fucked for the first time ;-p
DeleteFor overlapping textures...I don't have any excuse, this is pretty lame
Fair enough.
DeleteHave fun, creating Your art :)
I am with Shinra. This is fantasy. I personally don't want to see blood pouring out of a girl's vagina in the comics. I can use my imagination and make believe that she is and leave it at that.
DeleteAlso with the texture mapping, I am surprised you pay so much attention to the pussy. You even missed the comment about the dick sword, something I was certain would catch many peoples attention more hahaha.
let's say that I was more lazy than anything not drawing the blood >_<
DeleteThumbs up for everithing but the corrupted aki
ReplyDeletedon't worry its her transition state...didn't want to show her real new appearance as it will be part of the following plot ;-)
Deletewell well this is something new and to start a new story i think is always hard but i think you made a good start maybe her corruption was a little bit too rushed but you explained that you dont know if you continue this story or not. well iam more a fan of fallen star especially the kind of ''ahegao'' scenes in fallen star and the plot. You also put the ''ahegao'' in 2 or 3 pictures in this comic nice work, i think this story could have some good potential to continue and it would be nice to see her sisters and the handsome master of her fallen too.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comment! It was a bit rushed but not because of what you may think. The set up was to establish that this hero of the village went to stop the villain in the tower. Just like with Super House of Dead Ninja, which this was inspired by, the feel was to have a simple hero go against a simple villain, while establishing a base. Nothing wrong with more corruption scenes though haha :).
DeleteAs for ahegao, I actually learned that word two days ago. It is something I personally love to see as well, always been a fan of it just never had a name to call it by. Do not worry, ahegao scenes will always be in the comic somewhere.
As for sequel, after Fallen Star 7 if all goes well I hope to continue with the story. The sisters will play a bigger role as now they have a whole to fill in their hearts as well as their village. As for Aki, her character will develop through other means besides just seeing her actions. Do not worry, it may seem rushed now but all will tie together soon.
Thanks for the comment though! Good feedback to have!
Well this is a pleasant surprise and an awesome comic. Well rendered and written I feel it has more than a little potential, but then this ticks alot of my boxes.
ReplyDeleteNext chapter please.
Start working on fallen star yet :P?
ReplyDeleteI did ^^
DeleteAnother awesome comic. The 2nd image on page 3, it would make an awesome desktop background
ReplyDeleteyaaay!
ReplyDeletebut no torrent! :(
I've just uploaded one on g e hentai
DeleteThis was quite a fine piece of work. Very well done and executed and I actually enjoy the way the story seems to be shaping up. All in all I was very pleased with the result and am eagerly anticipating anything else you make for this (hopefully). Also looking forward to that new Fallen Star of course =)
ReplyDeleteloved this! personally i think this would make a good 3-part story but no more than that. three great corruption stories. part 2 could be the 2 young girls, part 3 would be the head woman and then the bad guy wins!!
ReplyDeletethank you all guys for your support, I'm glad you enjoyed this new comic even if this is not the Fallen Star. I think with a little bit of time and with all your good feedback this one can mature a lot !
ReplyDeleteI would also like to specially thank Lou for all of his donations. this is very appreciated !
Your work is far superior to the paid sites' stuff (including the one I'm writing for as Lokito, http://www.mccomix.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=14268&sid=3aba8aa3001b6f757fc856a00234439e), not to mention hotter, so I think we should materially support it. Keep it coming and I will.
DeleteHi Lou, thank you so much for your support materially and humanly speaking.
DeleteIs there any way to "buy" your comic wihtout having to subscribe and pay for the entire website. I have to admit that I'm not really interested by the comics from mc comix but only by yours.
I think it's been a long time now that you support us, me and G9, and it would not be fair for us not to be interested in your work.
Well thanks, man, you guys are the best. There really isn't any way to read the three comics I'm writing for MCComix without joining that silly site, and it's not really worth it. However, I'm primarily a screenwriter (my four produced "B" movies (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0013564/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1) have all the MC-corruption elements of our respective comics the way no one else but us is doing [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iOQlshQXnQU]), so I'll report my latest film news here so you can hopefully enjoy them. For right now, just keep up your great work, which encourages all of us.
ReplyDeleteOh, Electra was such a wonderful shitty movie xD. It more or less had everything a good, shitty b-movie should have.
DeleteMan...I did not you were famous O_O
DeleteWe are the ones who should worship you...need to get my hands on your movies ^^
Are you currently working on a movie ?
DeleteLou you and me need to talk dude, I am in the same field and a lot of model contacts! More than willing to partner up and help sell scripts with you. I am in it more for seeing my ideas come to life than the money.
DeleteHa. Well, like every screenwriter in history, I insist the scripts were much better than the movies. The hack directors never got the sexual fantasy elements right the way you guys do. That's part of the reason I no longer write "B" films, only "A" scripts now (several optioned, none produced yet). As you can see from my profile, I have a prestigious London agent now, and he would not be amused to learn I was writing "Electra"-type pictures or, for that matter, adult comics. But if I should come across a decent "B" producer in my orbit, I would like for "Lokito" to discuss a possible project with you and G9. For right now, only our comics can offer the more mature elements we enjoy.
ReplyDeleteYour secret's safe with us ;-) don't worry
DeleteAnd I would feel very proud and honored to maybe work
one day with you.
Hey Lou!!
DeleteI was a part of MCcomix website for a while. I agree 100% with you, H3N's, Gorgo's, Presidus, and G9's comics are way better and they are free. I was kind of disappointed. I had this huge library to choose from and the issues always seemed to jump over the important parts so quick. I was kind of mad, only because you make a mind control comic for the mind control, but the mind control either happened off the panel or over in 1 panel. It all felt rushed and I decided the work these guys do is extremely better, no offense to Mccomix. lol.
Your a screen writer too?! I am trying to break into that industry as well. Though I do not do any big movies I always wanted to. I always wanted to make the next Japanese B Movie softcore porn, like the live action Angel of Darkness or The Hypnotized. I did some small script writings for custom movies here and there using models. Some were amazing, others were...interesting lol. My big pet project is actually sitting next to me on a disc. It is a custom movie I made with Natasha Talonz and a director I know in California. It is kind of like a pilot. It is called Devil Man, and is about a man in a devil mask who goes around, hypnotizes people, and sucks their souls out via sex, turning them into soulless drones. I need some directors or some solid screen writers to help me make this small 30 min movie into a B movie! I lack the funds to do it myself but I own the rights to this movie. So hit me up if you want to work on it with me.
Very interesting, Dark Hypnotic. I've been hearing more about custom fetish videos, now possible because the moviemaking technology has become so affordable. The whole industry has changed with the death of the straight-to-video market. My first produced film, "Electra", made in 1996, cost just under a million dollars, and earned four times that in the pre-internet days. That major softcore fantasy film market doesn't even exist anymore, so the movies reflecting it are now very cheap and almost all very bad. But someone with your imaginative storytelling ability might be able to make something good. Speaking of your storytelling skill, I really dug Tower of Sin, and thanks for sharing it with us. Not only was it extremely hot, you used the same rare word that I just did in my latest script to similarly describe a sin - "indulgence". Great writing minds think alike, eh? But if I was adapting Tower of Sin for the screen, I would make one of Aki's younger siblings a boy hero, originally worshipful of his heroine big sister, then later forced to resist her corruption and fight her and his other hot evil sisters and their sexy minions. Talk about sibling rivalry and sexual tension. Ultimately the incorruptible boy hero would destroy the Tower and save the world, but be targeted by his witch sisters in future adventures. But it's your great tale, and I'll enjoy what's to follow.
DeleteI always wanted to bring back the softcore fantasy film market. I think it can still strive but just needs a shot of vigor to bring it back. Honestly, the internet has helped a lot. I have found movies I never heard about before even to this day. It is the prime market for such movies, as long as they focus on a story as well and not just random sex. In this generation, everyone has seen boobs. It's not as shocking as back then when the videos were taboo and sketchy to get a hold of. I believe if a story is made with the purpose of the story and sex is added and well done to ADD to the story, it is more dynamic and reaches to more people. Especially if it is extended to fetishes.
DeleteDevil Man is kind of like that. A softcore fetish movie that dabs in both fetish, horror, and story. It can act as an entire film where each woman falls to him as they try to reveal who keeps draining these women of their souls or an anthology where different women encounter him with different scenarios.
Hey dude, if you don't mind, let's keep in touch. Maybe we can help each other. I would love to help you with ideas or even help write for you and if you know anybody who might want to buy my pilot and make a full feature of it you can help me out. My email you can reach me at is Nightninja250@gmail.com or the one linked to this profile I am using right now.
As for your comments, thank you very much! This comic into a movie? Wow, that would be amazing. Use the other sister as a boy hero, I like Rin, and (spoilers) I have intentions for her. As for your spin on the story, sounds like a good story outline. One of the things I like to see in these fantasy sex stories is no real ending to the evil. Kind of like horror movies have an end but the villain never truly dies. I am kind of fond of the villain winning in sex movies cause it is more erotic to me. Now I have ideas outside the erotic films that I want heroes to win. Come in and save the day and all.
I have to check Electra out when I find it. Hit me up with an email and we can chat more!!
Awesome job ! Congrats !
ReplyDeleteshould defiantly make this into a series
ReplyDeleteThanks! I plan to hopefully!
DeleteThis is a tough one to rate, Shinra.
ReplyDeleteShould I see it as a one-shot with a lot of content, or as the first part of a series that has less content than what we're used to from your comics?
It's like the entire comic is rocking back and forth between those two options.
Of course, it only seems weird if I put on my analyse-glasses; for a normal casual read, it serves its purpose perfectly and there is plenty to enjoy.
A lot has already been discussed in posts above this one. But still, add me to the list of people noticing that it's pretty much Fallen Star all over again, only in a Japanese package. It's really weird how you choose once again to give up your strongest lead character to the dark forces in the first issue. (Especially compared to G9 who is adamant about using a "weakest-to-strongest" order when choosing the characters to corrupt!)
I accept Dark Hypnotic's explanation about the dark forces being the main characters and not any of the heroines, but the fact remains that Aki is supposedly the strongest warrior the ninja clan had to offer and who will likely become the villain's main servant and soldier. This means her role will be similar to Starlight's role in Fallen Star.
Another aspect that I think is difficult to judge is the corruption scene, or rather the build-up to it. It's LONG! Very very long!
This may be a good thing, because it doesn't rush at all, contains all the dialogue there needed to be, shows the fighting very well, shows Aki being the strong warrior she is supposed to be, being in control of the fight for a while and resisting as much as possible....but you need more than 40 pages for this, which is more than a third of the entire comic!
And all this while, it's just the heroine vs the bad guy and no one else.
I feel there is a missed opportunity here to do something more with this long scene.
What about those 2 random girls that were already there? They could have been involved in the fighting, or at least have some role in the scene. Aki should have confronted the bad guy about wanting to release them from his power. Now it's more like "Ah so this is where they were! Good, another mystery solved!"
The actual corruption scene may feel rushed in comparison because it's so much shorter, but I think it's actually the corruption scene that has the correct number of pages. The final page works for me, btw. If it had shown Aki in a completely different shape and form, I'd have wanted to see the process. For a page that just shows Aki once more but a little while later, this does the job.
(end of part 1)
I think I have only minor other complaints. The use of Japanese words here and there feels a bit forced. Surely words like "akuma", "onsen", and "hai" could have easily been done in English. Either do it all in English....or all in Japanese (though we might have some difficulty understanding everything in that case >_<)! Now it's as if you want to show off the Japanese words you learned from watching anime. ;P
DeleteThe cigarette was a bit weird and didn't feel as if it fits in the setting.
The beholder on page 53 looked very cartoony compared to the rest of the comic, and a couple of faces didn't seem to show the correct expression, especially the one in the top right picture on page 102...what's going on there?? Is she falling asleep? Or has her mind lost more than just Aki's soul presence?
I'd have liked to see a different cover than just a picture that's already used in the comic. And finally, I'd have liked to see the story's summary appear in the comic itself, rather than just in this thread and as the first post on e-hentai. It gives a bit of background and explains the setting very well so it should always be a part of the comic...at least, that's what I think.
There. That was everything I felt like whining about. What an incredibly negative post! But don't misunderstand: I mention the bad points, but keep silent about the good points..and there are many of them.
But it gets so boring to mention again and again that the graphics and the dialogue are good. You know this by now, don't you? ^_^
All in all this was a good issue, though I have the feeling you could have done a lot better if you had made a firm decision about this being either a one-shot or a series, and adapting the pace in the comic to that decision.
I'm looking forward to seeing what you have in mind for future issues of this series. The difficult first issue is out of the way: now it's time to get creative and hopefully pursue a different kind of story structure than in Fallen Star. Just because I want to see what else you can create.
Well done so far!
Mpgrey,
DeleteThat is one hell of a review. As you said, there is a lot of negative in this hahahaha. I should at least tell you my intentions on what I was aiming for, as an artist I have to defend my art you know :P.
First, I want to address that the writer and creator of the comic was me. Shinra Kun did the work and added his own twists and turns, but ultimately we both worked on it together and I am the one responsible for at least the overall story arc of the first. Also, I actually like your idea about the summary first or in the comic. I will take you up on that for the next issue. That and the cover page. Your absolutely right, it will enhance it and make it better. Very good advice I plan to take to heart for next time.
As for the comic itself, the length I believe turned out okay. I did not want to have a straight sex comic, nor did I want a comic with no sex. I based the entire comic off of my experience with the game I mentioned. I took that and twisted it to a episode like quality. The pacing was meant to get the feel of the tower as a first impression and just get introduced to the feel of this comic in terms of tone, mood, atmosphere, and character style. The reason there was not a lot of people in it was more me than Shinra. He did want more people in there, but I held against it. Reason being in the game your all alone, and I wanted to capture that lonely feeling where the tower and the hero are alone together in a sense.
The 2 random girls you see was something added because of the extreme focus on just the two that I let go through because I felt it wouldn't hurt. Their presence alone with the dialogue suggests a small bit of background I wanted to add about women disappearing in the village that did not feel as forced. Maybe it was not done right and I can agree it might feel too quick with them but this was an attempt at a different way of designing backstory without just saying it. Seeing them and hearing that they must be girls who went missing tells us that 1) Women have gone missing for a while, 2) they're fate is sexual servitude and lost souls,and 3) nobody is safe if the tower is just ignored.
As for the smoking, I will defend Shinra Kun to the end, because this was completely my idea. Being it was my commission and I wanted it into a series, I wanted to see her smoke because that is my personal fetish. I symbolized it to be more devilish because it was something she probably would not do otherwise. The smoking can be written off any way you see fit. For me it is because I like hot women smoking during sex. For you it can mean that the cigarette is some kind of evil device to hamper her resistance further. I left it open a little so people could tie it to their own ideas. I always wanted it to be like the corruption of her body before the corruption of her soul and mind kind of deal.
(end of part 1)
The big issue I hear about all the time is the ending. Aside from what I already said about this, remember this was a commission project I paid for, so I kind of wanted to see some corruption sex and her become bad. In the end I cannot blame people for getting confused. I failed to realize the issue it would cause. G9 does a great job in the order of heroines being corrupted. But for the rest of the story to work, I had to lose Aki first. Instead of having the strong fall first and making all the other heroes look under qualified, I wanted to have the strong fall first, and have the others have to struggle to retain that loss. If we look at G9's comics, each comic roughly focuses on the loss of one ranger give or take an issue. But does having Red fall last really mean that Yellow is a weak ranger? If we reversed the order and had Red lose first, and we could easily say Yellow was stronger but why? Thing is, I am not done with my tale with Aki, even though she is corrupted I am going to show you guys more about who she WAS rather than who she IS. I did not try to copy Fallen Star, more or less, I was trying to create a sense that the strongest hero in the village is gone, and the others have to adjust and fight back knowing that. Lol, being my first time with an entire series I am sorry for the confusion. :)
DeleteSomeone else said the same thing about the length. I felt it was great as the next issues might even be bigger. But true, first issues should be shorter. The next issues will have more people and unfold more drama. I aim to do this as I agree that in the future there should be more. This was like an intro, and meant to be extremely focused along with everything I have said. The fighting I will see if I can make more of. Though the more fighting means less story and less corruption. So I need to find a way to work it all together.
All in all, Mpgrey, I appreciate your words and comment. It means someone cared about my issue enough to analyze it and discuss the issues to make better. I just wanted to convey what I am trying is something new. As I pay for it I like to see the corruption and all, and these comics take a while (this took I believe 4 months lol) so I want to make it worth it to me (Been wanting to see Aki bad since I saw her concept art in Decemeber hahaha) yet make it worth it to you guys. So any suggestions help and I appreciate it. The next issue I am planning some unique things that are certainly going to challenge Shinra Kun lol.
Arf Mp you've just broke my heart T_T
DeleteYou made it clear that you didn't really appreciate this issue and I can understand why. I took notes of all your complains and be sure I will take them into account for any next issue.
And if you wanna see what else I can create, in a totally different style, you should wait for my next big project - you could wait a very long time as I'm still writing the story and I don't think it will come before the end of the Fallen Star...
PS: I will make sure not to corrupt the first girl in the comic ;-)
Well done explaining and defending yourself, guys!
DeleteFirst of all, let me insist that I'm nowhere as negative about this issue as you may have been making out of my words. It's just that it's so much easier to explicitly mention the lesser points than the better points. It's easier to say "the face in this picture is wrong", than "the faces in all the other pictures are good". And that is how you should read my posts: everything I do not mention varies from good to very good!
And to think G9 has to deal with my whining all the time....poor guy! >_<
Alright, so Dark Hypnotic is the big villain this time, and Shinra is just the loyal servant. I see.
In that case, most of my arguments can be ignored because, save for a few mistakes, the issue turned out exactly as it was meant to be. The length, the flow, the pacing, the amount of characters...even the cigarette: they have all been considered carefully and the commissioner gave his personal "thumbs up" to every aspect.
It's easy to forget that you're willing to share this comic with us in the first place, so with this in mind, we should accept every aspect of the comic with our minds at ease, because everything in the comic happens for a reason.
Of course it's not fair of me to "complain" about Aki's role as I have no idea what you have in mind next and how far you've planned ahead.
It is a very good point you make about the order of characters to fall not being related to how strong they are. Lesson taken, though I certainly hope G9 is reading this too. May clear his mind of confusion about not wanting Amy to look too strong for a character that is the first to fall, about Mr. Clown's role as a "first" villain, and about the order of the Gaia Rangers. Believe me, I would love to do what nobody expects by NOT saving Leona for last. I already submitted some ideas, but he is clever enough to ignore me when my ideas don't suit his! ^^
But I digress...
I may have seemed too negative about the length of the build-up of Aki's fall, but I did mention I had trouble judging it. After all, this is not a perfectly normal, regular, everyday comic. It's a 18+ fetish-related comic and in those 40+ pages, it delivers what it should deliver.
The scene is likely too long for readers not sharing this fetish, but for us, it's actually what we're looking for.
And as far as the actual 18+ stuff is concerned, this issue happens to suit my personal tastes more than any other Shinra issue. That is because I'm a rarity who couldn't care less about sex scenes. I'm here for the mind games and for the eroticism and it ruins it for me if the pictures containing beautiful female bodies are "tainted" because of male "involvement".
And because there is a pretty heavy focus on sex in the Fallen Star (particularly because Shinra often uses sex scenes as a way to trigger the corruption), it was a welcome sight for me to get to page 89 without any sex needed to lose Aki to the darkness.
See, Shinra? In a certain aspect, I appreciated this issue more than any of your other ones! ^_^
Hahaha, nice response Mpgrey!
DeleteWell let me be honest with you. I do value your review greatly, and in no way shape or form felt like you were bashing the comic. I actually think you have some very good points, points of which I have thought about and will definitely be talking to Shinra about when we start the second issue. I value all the comments, because to me I love the sharing aspect. So do not feel you can't talk about it.
Actually, you should let us so at the very least you understand whats going on. Sometimes it helps. You did it right, and did not bash it but... constructed a valid argument.
That clown Ike made as a villain was truly something awesome. It was cleaver, to me anyway, because it showed a different villain with a unique personality.
Actually all the fighting was done to support that she had some kind of skill. I wanted to display she was a warrior and make the hypnosis and submission all the greater. If she just fell into it with ease, it would completely wreck her as a ninja. To me, along with the things I have already said, the best thing other than the sex is the hypnosis and process leading up to the actual sex. The foreplay, if I may, to the sex. The issue I am having now is balancing the second issue, which I am in the stage of conception as we speak. First thing is I want to make sure that it is satisfying my needs since I am paying a good sum of cash for it. Once I get that down, I begin to tweak and modify to make it well rounded.
For all the quirks the story may have now and coming, rest assured your going to see some very interesting things. I cannot promise that everything will make sense at first, but I am not just going to throw away logic for sex. It may not be your ordinary tale, but it is going to be a tale that is different in structure. :) Thank you for supporting it though, I appreciate the review. hahaha.
Eh MpGrey...don't get me wrong, I like when you analyze my comics it means you care enough to do it ;-)
DeleteAnd I can totally imagine G9 faking to not understand what you say to avoid changing his ideas ahahaha.
Yo Shinra-kun,
ReplyDeleteFirst off, I love your comics. I love the devices you used to corrupt your leading ladies and I really appreciate the looooooong comics that you produce.
The one thing I feel that you can do to instantly improve 10x (At least in my fetish) your comics is the length and method of the induction into the mind control.
For example in this comic, you made Aki fall prey to the soul sucking thing by having her get hypnotised while being fingered by the bad guy. So, her state goes from:
Angry > Aroused and losing control > Hypnotised
Now, I am okay with hypnosis as a means of control. However, I think you have a lot of wasted potential here. I think it would have helped with the consistency if you either cut the hypnotism or the arousal bit simply because I think Aki would have lost it without the bad guy having to do some funky green eye kungfu.
While you may think that Aki would then come across as soft, I think this would be a great time for you to come up with some more moves to make Aki feel so good that she actually lost control just from that. If it's epic enough, it wouldn't feel like a cop out. This is what I would prefer.
What I also realise is that some people prefer hypnosis. So, why don't you do the hypnosis first and make Aki fight it longer before moving on to the sex?
So either:
Angry > Aroused > Very aroused > Lost
or
Angry > Hypnotised (fighting) > Hypnotised (less fighting) > Lost
That way, you would still have a struggle and keep the theme consistent.
At the very least, have her fight the process longer! This is the thing that makes or breaks your comic. Don't cop out here.
Also, the way she lost her soul is also quite meh, IMO. The badguy has already won. Why does he need to completely kill Aki off? What good is she as a shell?
I would prefer if you make Aki go along with the evil thing while hypnotised. Then have the badguy reveal that she wasn't hypnotised at all, thus making her question herself and turn fully bad. That would be so much more delicious.
If you still have to make her lose her soul, why not make her lose her soul while coming? I know it's very common, but there's a reason it's common: It works! Make Aki enjoy losing herself. Trust me, it would be so much more awesome.
Anyway, that's all for now. I hope you would reply to this comment. I'd be really happy to bounce some more ideas for your scenes to make them hotter for your fans (But mostly because I am one of them =P).
Thanks for your reply Darktan.
DeleteGood suggestions here. I think that the hypnosis was done well, though I can always she a longer induction. Though I felt the first hypnosis when touching her was amazing, and the fact she fought out of it and tried to run satisfied the resisting part as well as the fight. She did her best but in the end, simply could not outfox the devilish master of corruption.
I see where your going with the gradual lusting going into submission. But this is not Shinra's fault. That is mine, and the reason I did it this way was my preference on wanting to stimulate his complete control over her. To show her become horny and then lost kind of reminds me of typical sex. No offense to that, but I did not want his power to just be able to turn her on and make her get down. I wanted to display his hypnosis ability to rival Dracula from the good old days of Dracula Movies. For your fight process, I can see how we could make that longer. I have noted that and will try to implement it somehow.
As for the soul sucking thing. I wanted that. So many comics tend to just make them turn evil. While I like that, there is something more erotic and sinister about having everything the character is body and all being consumed willingly by the villain. He doesn't just have his way with her body, he takes all her soul. He is really evil and sadistic, a point which will become clear later. He doesn't need a reason why he needs to take the soul, just wants her completely enslaved and wants to be stronger as well. She now belongs to the darkness, eternally. She is now mindless, and has a dark soul within her. She is not a shell, but now is reborn from evil.
As for the losing her soul when she cums, that I CAN see happening and honestly is an idea in my head too down the road when I can use it.
I don't understand the part about her going along with the evil thing while being hypnotized, only to find out she was not hypnotized. In that situation with her, she would know she was not and kill him. Thing to remember her is that all of this is going on to rip her soul from her and make her one with evil. Like a ritual. She would not just go along with this kind of evil and question herself to be bad, because then she is just a confused heroine who decided she likes sex over her values. It's a good idea, but one I don't think would be right for the character in this situation.
Something I wish everyone to know is I want to be different, not do what is common. I will use common things in an uncommon way and love to explore ways to toss common with uncommon. I like to explore the realm of sex and fantasy in more of a...unique way. More of less, I want it to be a sub story in and of itself that relates to the tone of the major story. Just having sex in a scene for me is not why I put them in.
I appreciate the comments and you make some good points. But just keep in mind to keep an open mind. I noted some things you said and can try to add them. Best I can say is see how I can fit it in. But thanks for the reply and time :)
Hi Darktan, thank you for this nice feedback.
DeleteIt's becoming really good to see people exchanging ideas and sharing their mind.
About the corruption process, it's the part of the story Dark Hypnotic insisted the most on by giving me very thorough details of what he wanted.
Anyway, always a pleasure to discuss ideas with fans ;-)
That's the thing. Here's the key: The induction has to be longer.
DeleteWhen it's long and drawn out and the victim loses track of time and can no longer differentiate what is right and what is wrong (due to extreme pleasure or despair), that is how they won't see that they are actually not hypnotised. This is because they are conditioned to act in that way after awhile.
The other key thing is that the victim should be aware of her slide into evil. That way, she can still fight in her head, but lose control of her body at first, then her mind and identity later. You can probably do it as a thought bubble.
Or you can do it like in Galford9's Shadow Rangers where Pink gets corrupted because she was in this fantasy world where the bad guys were the nice guys. Perhaps not as vanilla, but you could describe the hypnotism as the victim being transported into a soft and fluffy place where she is constantly aroused but is fighting the control. Then, you can make her do some kung fu fight while in this place in her head, but make her lose because the badguy is god there.
Above all, make her fight longer! Having super powerful badguys is okay, but it's not fun if he could just steamroll everyone he meets. It's like "Why hasn't he already done so before the comic?" and "Why doesn't he just show up in their base and enslave all of them at the same time?". In fact, this is the biggest issue I had with G9's comics. His Dark Lord is so powerful, but why is he in his house all the time? Is he that lazy? If he's busy fucking the whole time, how did he get all that power?
Contrast this to Shinra's Starlight actually fighting hard against the devil before succumbing. You actually thought she could win. And contrast this to her friends from later on in the series who just cop over without much of a fight. It's okay, but none of them have the same impact as Starlight's corruption.
This is fine, except that as a series, you should always look to outdo yourself every episode. That way, fans would always look forward to your releases. Otherwise, we would just keep going back to Fallen Star 3.
Remember, powerful characters are only powerful if they have worthy opponents. Here, Aki just sorta dies in like 10 panels and she's supposed to be the most powerful one? What about her juniors? Won't that make them even faster conquests (Die offscreen?)? If there's no narrative tension, how would your story even be hot (Unless I am super mistaken and you aren't actually trying to be)?
The idea of the kung fu battle in the head is good. A psychic kind of fight within their mind. Kudos on that idea.
DeleteYour point is well spoken, but you miss out on one critical thought process. If the victim is aware of her descent...why not ask for help? Why not straight up fight the bad guy and stop it? Why even be aware of it at all? If she is aware of the evil taking over her mind, she can warn others and go after the bad guy with them, or even alone or even commit a hara kiri and stop herself from harming others. The stance on them not knowing between good and bad due to intense pleasure or pain while being aware is not hypnosis. It is like a sex video, a girl gets all hot and bothered, gets confused, and then says she can't resist her womanhood and goes along with the evil side cause it is sexy. That actually diminishes her character into a woman who breaks down with sex and hormones alone.
The goal here is not to advertise that sex is going on, but that sex is a weapon of sorts he uses to gain his victories. But it is not about the random act of her getting wet, it is about the ritual of it and us as the viewers as well as the characters involved knowing he has the power to drag them to hell with him willingly.
About your comments to G9, let me ask this. If Lord Zed and Rina were so powerful, why not just go to Earth with a whole army and attack them in a full scale invasion? Why send only 1 monster to always take on 5 people? Think about it, there would be no way to save everything with that kind of invasion. What stops them? Yet Lord Zed is pretty badass and he feels evil. It is about the personality, not logical answer, that attaches us the viewers to them. True, I may need to spruce his persona up a bit but even G9's villain has his own character, persona, perks, habits, and charm to him. Maybe he just is not that kind of villain who loves to rush in, maybe he loves to toy and play with his prey. How you approach an enemy and how I approach him are completely different, and that is good since both ways are different yet hold their charms in their individual way.
And about Fallen Star, sorry Shinra, but I knew she wouldn't win. As you quoted about progressed hypnosis, it was evident, and it did not make the pay off any more sweet. In fact, I don't even see her as a main character. I really don't even care for her as one. I am more attracted and follow the green haired woman, why? Because I like her persona better. Even with he progressed corruption it never feels great as that first scene. The initial shock of her being tainted by the evil is over and done, and now we know her fate and there is just no push for me to see her go over the edge.
Your last few statements I find to be expressed with some sting in them. I do aim to outdo myself. I agree with you there. But I must do what I find to make me happy too, especially since I am dropping car payment sized payments for these. If you want to keep going back to Fallen Star 3 because the newer things don't give you that same zing you like that is fine, but your missing out on new things. If every hypnosis story was done the same way it would be boring. A new take, while it might not be as good as this or that, is something new, and it appeals to some and other not so much. From what you describe it sounds like this is your own personal request to see this formula play out. While I respect it, I don't see not fulfilling them to make my comic crappy or non interesting. Look at horror slasher movies. They follow the same formula time and time and time again, and we know whats going to happen, but different set ups and ways things happen keep us going back for another flick.
End of Part 1
Your idea about the villain in her head also makes me question things. If he is God there, why doesn't he just take her over? If you have a power SO great that it cannot be defeat in your own mind, then you are doing what I am doing, but prolonging it with little pay off. What would he be waiting for? Why risk her overcoming it? If in the end his goal is to corrupt her, why not just do so right there and take care of the mission. It is not time and resistance that makes the hero a hero. Look at the heroes of these comics and think about it. White ranger is the last to fall but what makes her the hero? Why is she so resistant? Add an entire comic life to a corruption process for her and it still would not matter in the end. It is because when we read these characters, we attach to them on what we know of them in a broad sense.
DeleteI know my comic characters need a bit more fleshing out and I did say I would do so to my best ability. But the corruption over time and conditioning won't do that at all.
In the end, Darktan, I understand where your coming from. I understand the points your making and the ideas, but they do not break the comic. Maybe for you, but not for all. I respect your
views on what makes the corruption great, but please respect I have my own views too, and no one way is right. G9 has his style, Shinra has his, you have yours, Gorgogorgo has his, and I have mine. I don't denounce yours as ill fated and lacking the necessary potential. Just, having seen it done and not liking or finding it interesting....I don't find it to improve or make / brake the scenes. As to them giving the characters more personality, I have said and rested my case on that hopefully. :)
Also, your assuming too much already about the sisters. I have defended this already, but the goal here is to take what you get from first impressions and they grow them into understanding as the story continues. To me, the story is very hot and I love it to death, and yes I was trying to be a little hot. But more over, I am just sharing my ideas and comic with you guys. I can't help if you don't like it. You got good ideas, they just dont work with my method of writing. Not saying I won't try, but also I won't break my tone either. I will advance and try new things, I will keep old things recurring, but if something does not sit with me happily at the end of the day, I wont sell out to make it work :).
I wasn't aware of the amount of money you are putting into this project. Yes, you paid a lot of money and it is your brainchild, so yes you should have complete creative control over it. And yes, I am only one of those people fortunate enough to see yours and Shinra-Kun's work that I am able to see for free because of your financial contribution. For that, I am thankful.
DeletePlease don't take my opinions the wrong way. Perhaps I should make it clearer: they are only my opinion.
And secondly, I am not saying your direction is bad. I am saying it could be better. If I think it's shit, I will tell you it's shit. Or maybe I won't. I would probably not even bother commenting.
What I am saying is this: Your story here could possibly be a 6 or 7. That's great, considering that this is the first time I have seen your writing. What I am saying is to bring it to an 8 or 9.
And what I am saying is to lengthen and intensify the struggle. That's all. Everything else I mentioned is to support this.
Your comic is fine as is. But that's all it is. It's fine.
I am glad I gave you some ideas, but please don't take my comment as me telling you what you must do. Take what you need and leave the rest.
I am sorry I got you all defensive and all. That wasn't my intention at all.
I look forward to your next installment. In the meantime, take it easy. You are doing fine, yo.
It's good Darktan. I know of what you were trying to do. I was simply trying to express why it was more of a preference than a strict rule of thumb.
DeleteYes, each comic is costing me a good chunk of money. Mostly because I believe that Shinra Kun deserves to be supported with his talents, and by doing such a long and difficult job. This comic not only took time away from his projects, but it took him 2-3 months. And he did it with care and split second changes. You can understand where, if you pay a car payment to him for an installment, you want it to have some things besides talking too lol. Plus have it something you want to actually see as well.
But I digress. Yes, I have considered ways of creating more character development, more struggle, and definition to the peril to the heroes here. Unfortunately, as of now, and don't get me wrong or anything, but I do not know how the suggestions will work in Issue 2. Reason being, I have 3 people now entering the Tower, and that means if anything the already limited time frame I have is now even tighter. Stretching it too far out will hinder the rest of the story.
It is very hard to explain, but if I could attempt without spoiling things...think of the heroes of this comic so far being important but not the main focus. If any of you have played Siren or watched Battle Royale, you will know what I mean when I say there are multiple "main characters" but as the story goes on, the field narrows and we see the real stand outs, but we don't forget the old ones and whether they die or go bad, or whatever, they become part of the story. Think of Chapter 1, 2, and 3 (and if need be 4) as Act I of this comic. Act II will have the development everyone wants to see and the most story elements to understand the story and then Act III will be the climax, which I am still working on a finale. So even if you do not see immediately your suggestions, trust me when I say I aim to progress yet keep the same feel each issue. :) :)
In the end, no sweat. I just had to stand my point of view too. I respect your ideas, and everyone's here. I share it with everyone and ask no profit back so that all can enjoy and my ideas spread out there. No worries, if I was mad, we'd just stick you in the ninth circle of the Tower. :P
Regarding 3 people entering: Only 1 gets corrupted. Save the best for later. ;)
DeleteAlso, you actually could split them into 2 groups. Let the two newbie ninjas get corrupted. Or better yet, get one of them corrupted first, then use her to corrupt the other one. Make the second one's fall super delicious.
Finally, it's only a punishment if I won't like it. ;)
http://antjacks-femalepossession-mindcontrol.blogspot.com/2013/04/shinra-kun-yoru-no-majin-tower-of-sin.html
ReplyDelete@ Dark Hypnotic's request, ive made a slideshow, & put it on my blog...enjoy, & thanks SHINRA, & Dark Hypnotic
DeleteThank you ANTJACK! You rock!
DeleteThank you Mr Jackson.
Deleteyou're always there to promote our comics and it's a real pleasure to have such a committed fan ;-)
I think Dark Hypnotic will love the music, very representative of the ambiance he tried to reproduce.
By the way, it has been a while we did not see you around, what are you up to for the moment ?
This comment has been removed by the author.
Deleteoh, im still finding/posting/blogging/editing material from the genre we all love...i try to be positive in what i do, & hopes it inspires others to find & appreciate this genre also...(in otherwords? 'chillin')
Deleteiam impressed looks like you are fast at the moment in working on the fallen star already 6 percent in 2 days
ReplyDeleteI don't know if fast is the right word...
DeleteThis progress bar should already be twice bigger only if...but I won't say much right now ^^
I think I will come back soon with some news about the next chapter of the fallen star as well as with some new project ;-)
And the thing is I'm cheating a little bit.
Since I released the last chapter, I had to travel a lot for my job and did not had the chance to progress a lot but...I did prepare a lot of scene already in advance so that now I'm going faster.
Anyway, there's still a looooot of work to do on this chapter.
whats comming next the fallen star or H.C. and the wizards sacrifice?
ReplyDeletemost likely H.C. and the wizards sacrifice, as it has a shorter chapter
DeleteI like very much this comics. I hope that it is the beginning of a series and no an one shot.
ReplyDeleteI like the heroine and the sorcerer and I am satisfied that Aki beats the middle man.
I hope that you plan the corruption of Sun Long. Otherwise, why do not introduce in the story the grand mother of sung Length which had manages to seal the tower of Sin.
rakasur
mail: jnayaradou@gmail.com
I'm sure Dark Hypnotic will find a nice way to put her in action...
DeleteAnd regarding Sun long's grand mother, I know that on top of his fetish for smoking cuties, Dark Hypnotic also loves erotic scene with grannies...I would not spoil you but he's definitely planning something with her. Stay tuned Rakasur !
Dark Hypnotic will kill me for this...ahahahaahahaha
DeleteIt's definitely a good thing she was based off of Tsunade. We will just pretend that she is still young and not worry about the age. It is not polite you know to ask. :)
DeleteI have plans for her, don't worry :). Just be patient for now :)
I do intend on making this comic into a full series. This is not an one shot comic. There will be a lot more to this comic. Thank you for the nice reply! We have three lined up for next comic. Who gets corrupted? How do they get corrupted? Wait and see!
ReplyDeleteHello Dark Hypnotic (and Shinra-Kun).
DeleteFirst I have to say I really enjoyed "Yoru no Maijin" even more than the first installments of the fallen star (partly I believe because the art of Shinra-Kun improved immensely between this time ). Being a reader of G9 and Shinra-kun since the first books I believe I really could observe the evolution of the qualities (and eventual defaults) of their respective works as it became more obvious .
To begin, I would like to comment on your comic Dark Hypnotic.(Whoa it rhymes!)I think it was paced perfectly for a first chapter : introduction of this new feudal world , of the different characters , then a "disruptive element" that causes the action (apparition of the tower of sin / the corruption of Aki). So story wise two thumbs up . The atmosphere is a nice change and well rendered : you really could believe you're in 11th century(or more)Japan. Good decors, importance to small details and realism allows a story to be that much more captivating and enjoyable. I believe this was why people have been schocked by the cigarette scene : it looked out of place(and a bit of an anachronism ) . I understand it's a "fetish" of yours so I can understand why you would want it in ,but it would be better if explained in the story ( is the substance in the cigarette a drug that allows a better access to Aki's mind ?)and if the cigarette was replaced by a kiseru.I for my part enjoyed the "ahegao" faces and don't believe it was "ahegao" but normal expressions for someone losing all inhibitions because of deep pleasure given by a demonic/evil entity. One of the strong points of Shinra-Kun art is that the characters are very expressives (instead of G9's wich are a bit too much like porcelain dolls and look very alike ... sorry G9).
Finally I think the corruption itself is pretty good : it shows the power of the villain , how helpless Aki is and it takes its time (half the comic was very acceptable for me ),also very nice sex scenes wich are (visually) the most important in a corruption comic! The main problem for me was the final corrupted form of Aki maybe it's the gray hair (she looks old) or the completely dark eyes (I might have preferred a change of color : it shows more expression ) or especially the veins (and the change of skin tone) or even the complete change of attire but I think that in the end I didn't recognize Aki. There is too much on her face alone. It's too "charged" . Sometimes a few signs of the corruption and a big change of expression is better and (the evil smile she gave just after being infused by the dark power was irresistible) . Plus, the final costume is ,for me, less sexy than the first one : breast less visible :(
Well sorry I wrote a you a full book I'm a bit of an artist myself so I really insisted on the "faces and expressions " part,I hope it helps . And if you are intersted ,Shinra-Kun, I have a few ideas on the fallen Star too.
Well first let me say thank you for your kind words.
DeleteRegarding the anachronism with the cigarette, we had the discussion with Dark Hypnotic at the very begining of this project and believe, he has a very nice explanation to this ;-)
Seems like people did not really understand about Aki's transformation, this is not her corrupted form but rather her body being overhelmed by darkness.
Don't worry Hell of a critic, you will see her in a much sexier form in the second chapter.
And I'd rather you writing a book about your feedback than say nothing so please keep going. It's always good to receive critics positive or negative from fans, it helps us a lot to improve.
For fallen Star of course you can share your mind. I can't promise you that all your ideas will fit the storyline, but I try to to do it if possible and if I like the idea.
Sometimes, some ideas also give me other ideas or show me a different way of thinking when I'm stuck writing the story, so hell yes, share your thoughs dude
Can be done on the fallen star page for much clarity ;-)
Wow, Hell of a Critic, that is some review. Thank you very much. Arigato! It is very nice to hear all the positives working for people. I appreciate it.
DeleteBefore I get into your comment, I wanted to say she will be more recognizable in the next issue. Think of it this way, when she needs a power burst, she can go into a demon mode like form, which we saw. But normally, she is just herself and is evil with touches of evil and seduction. I LOVE that idea and agree that the best kind of corruption is when they are still themselves but inside is what majorly changed.
Alright, so on to the main event. The smoking. For the drug inside idea, I really don't like the idea for drugs being the induction of corruption. I kind of threw anachronism out the window only because I wanted use this kind of cigarette form. I am very picky about what is used. I am just a weirdo for that. I don't like the style or form of the kiseru. I kind of liked the glamour the cigarette I did use had back in the old black and white films. For some reason it never felt disgusting or appalling.
Also, the smoking is there for the fetish yes but it is not what the cigarette is as much as what it does symbolic. Shinra will have to help me remember what my reasoning exactly stated, but it more or less is the corruption of the body and mind that allows her to be more open to his desires. Smoking does not make you evil or corrupted, but I wanted it to be used in a way that when the villain makes her smoke it is more of an indulgence into her doing the act she normally would not do. To me, the act of a women who doesn't smoke smoking for the first time is a symbolism of being corrupted physically and somewhat mentally. They are accepting the indulgence of something they know is bad for them which is them succumbing to temptation of his desires. While the cigarette itself does little to actually corrupt, the act of doing is important. Plus, giving into that habit allows him to infiltrate her mind, because she is already giving into the wild side and her mind begins to slip with what she is resistant to.
I cannot justify the fact she is smoking a modern day cigarette in feudal times. All I can say to defend that is he might have crafted it first...? I honest just suspend my disbelief here, since it is a Tower of Sin, and is basically timeless.
A picture of Nemesis XIII Ch I: The Swarm;) or a clue what is involved
ReplyDeletethis one's way too early in the process to show something >_<
DeleteH.C. teaser today?
ReplyDeleteI'm currently in the plane, flying back from a work trip...so maybe not tonight but tomorrow as I got a day off ^^
DeleteI have a question to all corruption fans, i read some posts for pictures at e hentai and in some corruption hentais people say i hope there will be a good ending, the most time i see these posts on dinarangers pics from macxes. and i need someone to explain this to me where is the point when there is a good ending in this kind of genre, ok in lamuros of seven this was ok but i dont get it at dinarangers or other corruption comics.
ReplyDeleteI don't think this has anything special to do with corruption-fetish-related works.
DeleteFor me, any story can work with a good or bad ending depending on how it is presented.
To use your example of Dinarangers, I don't think it would hurt the whole story at all if it (unexpectedly) gets a good ending. The "destination" and the "road to it" are 2 different things, and the "road" has certainly be filled with a lot of scenes that we are looking for.
But isn't it nice to have this uncertainty?
Isn't it nice to still be able to root for Maya, Miki, and Shiori, instead of knowing for sure that will everyone will end up as Zofa soldiers anyway?
I think it says a lot about macxes' great writing skills and story telling skills that fans and readers still hope everything ends well for the girls DESPITE their fetish.
I mean, how awesome is that? Macxes has made characters that transcend their roles as eventual victims in the minds of the readers!
The only thing a writer can do to hurt the story's ending is forcing it. Forcing it in a direction that it was not going to. Making it appear as if it was a last-minute idea to create that particular ending.
Let me mention the anime My-HiME as a completely random example. That literally had a "Lol, everyone is back alive!" plot change at the end that was done so sudden, it left a bad aftertaste because the road to the ending had been done so carefully.
But actually any story that suddenly tries to explain everything by using alternate dimensions, clones, or "everything was just a dream", do it wrong in my opinion. You need little skill to use these twists: you can tack them on whenever you see no other way out.
I personally think it takes a lot more skill to make a logical, believable good ending for a typical "bad-ending-story".
I'm surprised that opinions differ about this, but in my experience, I see these stories always end up with bad endings in doujinshis.
The good girl slowly or eventually gives in to the darkness. Then we see a transformation, and BAM!, the story ends. The end. How easy is that?
I think an unexpected, but well written good ending is much more interesting for these stories, despite having the same fetish as everyone else here.
Btw, do note that I use the terms "good ending" and "bad ending" in their classical way ("good guys win" and "evil guys win" respectively). Otherwise one could argue that a badly written story where the good guys win, is actually a "bad ending", and that only gets confusing.
Damn MP...you've just spoiled the end of Fallen Star !
DeleteI was supposed to introduced a cloned version of starlight coming from another dimension where she has not been corrupted to try to convince her real self that all she was about to live was a dream!!!
Pfff I will have to find something else now >_<
PS: I love this kind of debat ! carry on guys !
We can carry on, sure!
DeleteBut we would love to hear your opinion on this too. ;)
As for this super-secret Fallen Star plot twist:
Gaia 5 page 048 left middle picture
>_<
Ahahah you're even using your pics to express your feelings ^^
DeleteI was thinking that maybe it was a super secret clue hidden in the comic.. you got me >_<
Of course you know I was joking for the fallen star....
it's not for the end but
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for my futur Saga...the Fallen Star 2: the return :-p
And of course I will speak up my mind on good/bad endings but most likely tomorrow as it's already nearly 4am here >_<
mpgrey, contact me at my email Nightninja250@gmail.com. Got a question for you...but its a secret project so it has to remain confidential lol. No worries...wont take too much time.
DeleteI will have to disagree with you on this one Mpgrey.
DeleteWhile I apreciate the idea of crafting a story so compelling you start to really apreciate the characters, I almost feel like it's a "treason" when you get a good ending in a corruption comic.
It diminishes and negates the corruption that took place before because ,in the end, it was reversible. To me a well done corruption must be definitive, it's the irreversible mental perversion and physical transformation of the heroine into an object of lust by the villain that is seductive.
Furthermore a good ending is something we see everytime in more common divertissement . The heroine/hero's girlfriend always turns back good and it's infuriating :)
What we look for in a corruption comic is to see the villain finally getting his way (and honey) ;)
Of course I appreciate surprise and good story telling but I'd like to be surprised in how the villain crafts his plan , exploits the secrets/weaknesses of the heroes or even what his origins are .
Well, hoping to keep the subject alive !
And maybe Shinra Kun will have his hundred comments after all...
I completely agree with Hell of a Critic on this one. It is a basis in which we view what we find sexy in the end. The way I see it and explain it is that the villains in the series represent us, in the fact that we want to see their will done to the heroines because of their powers or what we want to see happen to them, in the erotic comic sense. What makes it different from mainstream comics is the notion that in main stream we want the hero to win, because their ideals and fates push us to relate to them and root for them. Everyone deep down wants to be a hero, and to gain that notion of bravery and have that spotlight on them to do something grand. In these comics, it is opposite. It is not that we don't sympathize with the heroes, but morever, especially in a corruption comic, we want to see the villain win because in each of us we all wish we had that ultimate power of getting whatever we wanted. It is ying and yang basically. We want to stop evil, but we also want the power that grants the evil villain to do whatever he wants.
DeleteA villain like G9's or even Shinra's Devil character represents a notion of power and lust, not so much that I have to kill everything. Sex from the very beginning for people has always been casted in the shadows. It is a way of life but often it is done very privately and secretly. I can demonstrate this by pointing to an example where if you take a girl you love and think about the two different ways of sex, making love and fucking, you can see what I am talking about. Making love is passionate, tender, and often is a celebration of the bond two people share. Fucking is more primal, simple, and where our inner beast takes hold. That being said, when thinking about a girl you admire or love or whom you fantasize about, more often than not you go to the fucking area, where you want to see her in her raw form giving you the ride of your life. Hence the difference in wanting the good guys to win and the bad guys to win, the symbol usually is good guys make love, bad guys fuck. :P
As to endings, Critic took the words out of my mouth exactly. Corruption is definite or else it is not corruption. How a story ENDS is just as important than how it GOES. Look at Shadow Rangers. If the very last chapter they all broke free and won, and sat around the table laughing drinking coffee, then the entire story would be wasted and destroyed when you go back to it because the final note was that they all won. The final note is what makes the story, like the final paragraph of a story. It is the seal of an ending, and it is what readers will remember the most about your comic.
So Critic, good wording, you honestly stole the wording right out of my mouth, I can't even explain it better with the endings.
There is nothing wrong with twists and turns that keep you anticipating, but the end has to be satisfying to the reader that all the fetishes and expectations are met. Unlike main stream comics and media, these comics do not have to rely on crafting a open ended ending or a strong moral message. It is the ride that we take and the final stop we read that is important, and seeing all the good juicy parts they would hint towards as well as anticipation is the key to these comics. That is their strength. You cannot cut out a corruption scene and have it show the same impact as us seeing it with these comics :P.
Do not worry, even though the story is based on the focus of the villains and such, the heroes are not just idiots running around. We just get another angle to see. We still need heroes we like since a good movie or comic in the main stream has villains we love. It goes both ways, and when we can't wait to capture that strong and heroic hero character or that pretty face who is resisting us, we are the villain and the hero is very well done. We need to have that conflict still with the knowledge that in main stream we always know the good guy will win 90% of the time. Same here with the villain. Over all it is a win...but what will he lose, what events will unfold, and how will the entire story be structured at the end. These things are why these comics are very popular.
Deletethanks for the long reply to my question mpgrey, and yes i noticed that macxes skills are that he let you think lol are they really going to make it ? and then BÄM the corruption is because of this 2 times more sweeter. yes in my opinion i does also not like it when a story is rushed too fast. i just did not get it why some people hope that there will be a good ending but now i can understand it a bit more why they are doing it, because you dont know what will happen next.
ReplyDeletePs: Shinra lol xD
Finished reading the comic, nice work. You did a fine job establishing the world for your story and I really enjoyed your action scenes.
ReplyDeleteHey Presidus! Thanks! Just wait for the next issue, things will get much deeper! :) I cannot wait to see your new project Power Struggle as well! Keep us posted on when that is!!!
DeleteI wanted to post this on the two most active threads. I wanted to ask that if anyone would like to help G9 recover his material and get the proper equipment to keep this from happening again, please donate what you can to help him out on his blog. I know he is kind of reluctant on asking, and honestly this is me asking not him. I am donating some money to aid. If we all pitch in a little we can set G9 back up! I ask not on his behalf but on the behalf of all of us who really care about g9 comics and Ike to show our support and aid him in this tough time of helping him recover his lost. We can make a difference, so let us show how much we care. So if you want to help, donate! Thank you for your time guys!!!! :)
ReplyDelete100th comment ;P
ReplyDeleteI love this comic! I'm actually enjoying it more than your Fallen Star series. You've crafted such excellent sinister (and funny) villains for this series. Can't wait to read more
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