Here is the first chapter of this brand new serie featuring the Legion, a bunch of superheroes watching over the not really peaceful steelgate city.
This saga is born from my collaboration with the great, the amazing, the wonderful...MasterShake.
So please give him a warm hug for bringing this to you.
As we were announcing it previously, this story will feature the "choose your adventure" style where YOU will help to shape the story by voting and answering not so trivial question ^^
So do not hesitate anymore and come meet Angel, Panthra, Pyro, Hexxia, Smasha, Arrowhead and their vile nemesis, the infamous Vipra.
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| Thral of the Mask - Part 1 |
Please don't forget to read the comic first before voting ahahaha ;-)
wau this upload is a fast one :)
ReplyDeletenice
ReplyDeleteLooks good shinra!
ReplyDelete~Sono chi no sadame!~
ReplyDeleteJOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOJO! JoJo! JoJo!
the comic looks very nice good job!
ReplyDeleteso how is this new one now going with the voting and answering?
so could I ask questions like I don´t know is Rachel (Hexxia) now the real evil one and Vipra was "only" a villain how wanted to this power? are there some other masks to in the story?
or Can she put the maske one a other face and this person will be also corrupt or has the maske give all her magic away to Rachel now ? who was the Woman in the Coffin was she a mistress of her time, will this story of her be important for the future story or was it only a trap from Vipra, to create kaos, she know that someone will lay one this maske and she was expecting it would be Rachel (Hexxia) ?
I'm having a bit of a hard time following so I'm going to try to answer this the best I can. Rachel has been corrupted into a demon so yes she is evil as is Vipra. As to the question with the mask. There is only one mask, as for the powers it has etc, those I can not answer as they might spoil things. I will say the woman in the coffin plays a very very small roll in the story. As for this being Vipra's plan, no. Vipra isn't that smart of a villain as she keeps getting foiled by our heroes. Poor Hexxia's curiosity has gotten the best of her.
DeleteI'm glad you liked the comic!
Hello, so for my comments:
ReplyDeleteThe art is very good and polished, Barbara's makeup and Rachel stings made quite an impression. The story seems interesting, what i liked the most was nicely developed character personalities, with their own emotions, traumas etc. Sex scenes were exciting and satisfying, Vipra's legs scene was hot also :>. Have to admit that after reading in the tags about that breast expansion teenage bullshit I was pretty skeptic, but it didn't look bad.
Let's hope the quality of the comic won't go down the drain after first 3 chapters like it was with Fallen Star.
Tom X what did go down the drain for you in Fallen Star? If you mean the part were Shinra evolved the story from being a superhero story to a mythical/religious war between multiple factions, then I have to disagree. It's great to watch a story evolve and not be narrowed down by standards it sets in the beginning. That's my opinion.
DeleteGlad to hear you liked the writing Tom. My biggest thing for the comic was to make sure EVERY character had their own voice. Each of them has a past, some good, some bad and each will come to light as the story moves on. I think I speak for me and Shinra when I say that we will do our best to keep the quality and standard of the comic as high as it can be.
DeleteHello Shinra
ReplyDeleteThis review is going to be much shorter then the one from Fallen Star chapter 7.
Legion Thrall of the mask was a very good starting chapter. The story is interesting and the characters are very well designed and written (although they are super heroes, they are still human and make human errors).
Congratulations on that part to you Shinra and to the author of the idea for this comic Mastershake. The other excellent part were the sex and transformation scenes. I have to say Shinra you still have that creative fire when designing those scene and I'm glad for you because of that. You even managed to get the transformation scene to be right in the middle in terms of duration not too long, not too short.
I'm glad you managed to correct one of the minuses from Fallen Star ch.7 - grammar.
Grammar is much, much better, although you still have 5-6 errors in here, which can be easily ignored.
I have to ask, the authors text from both you and Mastershake indicated that you vote at the end of the comic for the cryptic question poll. Does that mean we just vote here on your blog when you set up the poll vote, and that's it? Also IF the question ( where she goes ) that is on the end of the comic is really the question that will be in the vote poll, I have to say it doesn't seem so cryptic to me at all. I hope I'm thinking wrong.
And that's it from me XD
P.S. Shinra do I need to change my ID name because it's the name of your new story arc? XD
Also could you fix the links for the: 1. Legion thrall of the masks because when you click on it, it shows pages 61-80 on e-hentai ( it may be a silly request but it may spoil the fun for some people ) and 2. Harriet Copper on the right side of your blog ( when you click on it, it says the link doesn't exist on this blog).
Link has been fixed and No you don't need to change your nickname, we like it the way it is ;-)
DeleteHi Legion,
DeleteThank you for the kind words. I'm glad that the grammar was to your liking. Tbh, it's not my strongest suit but was something I wanted to make sure was done right. So I'm glad it hasn't gone unnoticed.
As for the poll, it is up now. As for the cryptic nature of each question I cannot say. However I will say that as I have stated before, each choice has quite an impact on the direction of the comic. So IF you think it's (where she goes) you might be surprised to see that you might be right, but so wrong at the same time. I didn't want these question to be super cryptic, but at the same time I didn't want to just say "do you want A or B" and have it turn into a popularity contest. I wanted ppl to think about the choice and answer as honestly as possible. I think we are going to see some interesting plot changes along the way. At the end of each chapter I'll spill what the other choices might have brought about :P
It´s AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE your work!!! shinra-kun I love all your work including this
ReplyDeleteI hope Barbara is the next one:)
ReplyDeletenice story!
what can I Vote for the next story?
The pictures was very good made! the story was with 87p. big enough and you was finished in a Month! two thumbs up
Can we get a link to the questionnaire
ReplyDeleteits coming ;-)
ReplyDeletewas just giving you some time to read the comic...and it was very late yesterday so I fell asleep >_<
how many chapter has this comic once again ?
ReplyDeleteis Hexxia now complete corrupt and tf and is she standing this way now ? or is she wake up, at the next day and has then no idea what was happen to her?
good story!
No she's corrupted once and for good.
DeleteNo waking up with ooooh what a scary nightmare, no no no
Great comic shinra but would rather see a fallen star HC and Yoro no majin progress before this one!
ReplyDeleteI do have a clear path to work on those now ;-)
DeleteCongrats Shinra on another successful comic and congrats MasterShake on your first comic here. Legion said just about everything that needed to be said so I will simply rephrase and add onto the praise. The english this time was way better done then previously in FSVII. It makes it flow better and doesn't distract the reader from the story itself. There were still a few but much easier to miss since most I didn't catch till 2nd and 3rd time through. Next the special effects, such as the spells, weight room stuff (speed bag/ weights), were fantastic and they keep better with each comic you put out.
ReplyDeleteAs for the story itself, it had very good pacing. It developed the characters reasonably well for a first issue and for such a short one. Much better than what happened on the pacing for HC. It was good to get a generic view for each superhero and hopefully we will get to know each more in depth with each issue. I am intrigued to know about Nate and Blake's past issues whether they stem from the same source or not. Being a comic book nerd myself, I do like the source material you gathered from.
Finally my favorite part as with most of the comics outside the stories are the transformations. Rachel/ Hexxia's transformation was superb, easily one of the best you've ever done. You outdo yourself with it and I can't wait to see what you do to top yourself in this or any of your other comics. MasterShake keep the great scripts and ideas flowing. Do you have any other work on other sites? If so, please share :D Its good to hear that you will let us in on what we didn't pick as well, cool to know the "what if." I guess its time to vote and find out what the future holds for The Legion. Keep up the good work both of you!!!
PS- Hoping for the next issue HC next (just wishful hoping)
Mmmh yes Hexxia's tf is from far one of my favorite as well.
DeleteAnd yes H.C should follow next
YAY
DeleteHey! Another great release Shinra! Congratulations! ^_^
ReplyDeletenice work, will be interesting to see how this plays out due to your plan to make it a fan driven comic.
ReplyDelete@Legion 8 November 2013 12:16:
ReplyDeleteDidn't go that far, after reading chapter 4 I got the feeling Shinra, kind of bit more than He could chew, there was little attention to detail, story got tamed down (and watered), more like comic for emo kids than "mythical/religious war between multiple factions". That's my opinion and no hard feelings :).
Dammit Tom X, you haven't read the last instalment of the fallen star,
Deletebut but I drew the blood in this one...just for you T_T
As you said no hard feelings, guess I can't please everyone ;-)
O_o Respect for the memory.
DeleteTake care.
@Tom X, i think your assessment is the most accurate, Keep in mind, that when shinra takes on commissions like this story, & 1 other that he's done already? he is mainly providing the artwork for whoever he's been commissioned by, so the story arc is for the most part not his, he's mainly realizing someone else's visions/ideas, i know you can feel the difference, because when shinra does his own storyline/arc, its hot,& off the chain, not taking away, or insulting the others who storylines he commissioned, but there ias a clear difference in his (SHINRA) than anyone elses, shinras body of work (to me) stands out as the best in this genre (up there with MARVLIN, & HAYWIRE), even better to me than G-9, i hope he keeps it up, i'm a big fan
ReplyDeleteLooks very nice!
ReplyDeleteI was thinking Leto will look like Hexxia in the end with the Spider legs now I am curious what you plans is for her?
good job Shinra, you are really the best 3d artist in this sector! maybe only 3dmonsterstories can be compared to your works, i really love the idea of the poll, who knows maybe one day your sit will have one billion trillion members and you will be the voss in the adult-comic industry.
ReplyDeleteAh ah it would be nice, but seriously, i wish you best things
gl hf
thank you for your nice words Lorenzo,
Deletethey are greatly appreciated
I like the comic !
ReplyDeleteI am in favor, that you are starting to work on it now, so that we she the next one on 24.12 :)
Good work!
I voted in the two questions for the first options
ReplyDeleteI wasn't sure if I'd like this one as much as Fallen Star or Harriet Copper, but I can quite happily say I love it, and can't wait for the next installment!
ReplyDeletepicture 84 here feet?!?!
ReplyDeleteyou know when you see it!
Look closer on page 86 and you'll get a better angle ;-)
DeleteAfter reading the comic, I can say many things about it. However, before I say what I feel my opinion is on it, I will say for all you guys and gals who are into the transformation/corruption fetish, then you will have a nice treat here. Understanding that people have different tastes and to bash tastes is very close minded, the fetishes done here are good for who they are intended. I also know this is someone's project so I am not going to bash the comic on grounds of personal critique, but rather, an overall experience.
ReplyDeleteLet me start with the positive. I really find the villain interesting, and love the concept and idea behind her. From design to writing, it is very interesting to see more of her and where her character goes. I appreciate the different approach to villains like her, in concept to story. The variation in characters is nice, and the set up to the rest of the story is well. Art and graphics are always the same so I don't pay them mind. I know Shinra can put the quality out. This story feels like an opening to a superhero movie.
Unfortunately, here is where I get to the bad. Mind you again, being in the same boat before, this not an attack but something to think about and just an opinion. My main gripe is the characters. Two scenes in particular, the Indian tiger girl sex scene and the She-Hulk kissing scene. To me the females all feel very simple, as if they have no depth other than sexual frisky feelings. It is a habit I see forming across all websites lately. The random sex scene feels severely out of place and just stuck in there. There are many ways to depict love and emotions without channeling sex. It seems that is the go to for every scene where people want to show that two people love each other or to just shove it in for skin value. It completely derails the characters, and quickly changed my impression of that woman from strong and interesting to shallow and slutty. It killed her character for me and I instantly lost interest in wanting to see more of her. The Hulk girl kissing scene was better done, showing you do not need to involve sex to prove there is a connection. However, that scene felt out of nowhere, and there was no lead up to that connection. A better effort though. The final scene is okay for the fetishes involved, however I was lost once the mask came off.
I am willingly negating my opinions on the themes and the way the corruption and transformation happens.
The story itself did a good job placing the theme of the comic, but failed to leave a interesting impression on most of the characters. Those it did touch upon it usually spoiled with random sex that could have been held off or left a strong impression such as main heroine or main villain. As an intro comic it did its job, and as a story it faltered here and there. A more in depth character would have been nicer, especially for this force we are going to be following. Something different besides the girly "I love therefore I have sex" motto. Being the fact this will be a story driven by the community, I missed how the story really inspires the choice and power the community has. These decisions purposely remain ambiguous for a reason, but I found myself asking what it mattered. If I asked you what weapon you felt safer carrying, a gun or a knife, what rational would you link it to the story? This comic did what it wanted, introducing us to the main characters, but not so much the world around them. It is very focused on the characters, which makes their lack of development all the more present. It is not because they lack any development, but I feel as a comic whole across all comics, unless the character has a background already established, it needs more fleshing out through dialogue or actions.
I am happy another member got to see his/her dream come true and glad it went well.
Ouch, that's a pretty rough review Dark. I will say you bring up some good points on some things that I hope to address in the future. I'm glad that you enjoyed some parts of the comic like Vipra and hopefully she'll deliver if she is to ever be seen again.
DeleteI did want to answer a few things though from my understanding to maybe explain a few things better. On your gripe about the characters, to have the chapter devoted just to them would have been a waste imo. Telling everything up front about them leaves nothing to the imagination and kills the main point of the comic; sex. I can understand your gripe about "random sex" and love, but in regards to my characters, I wanted to make them more human. While you feel such actions make a character look slutty or weak, I would argue the opposite in saying it makes her more real. By societies standards a male who is loose is considered a player while a woman is a slut. I find this wrong. There are many women out there who want sex just like a man would and Panthra just happens to be one of those women. As for the Smasha scene there is more to come out of that, so you might want to hold off until you have seen the second chapter.
One the last point about the story driven by the community. As with anything there are boundaries to such things. You say the questions didn't shape the comic, well this is true because it's the first chapter. If I had ppl vote on it you guys wouldn't have a clue. The choices will have impact in the next chapter and after it comes out you will learn the pros and cons to a point of what you have done.
I'm sorry my comic didn't have the impact you wanted on it, but like any great story it takes time to flesh out characters and backgrounds. Having such info all up front is just poor storytelling and leaves nothing but bone for the viewer to chew on. Give it time and I shall pull the curtain back on things that have been laid out in this very first chapter. (I wonder what happen to Arrow and Pyro?)
Well the first thing I must get straight is that this is YOUR project, and therefore, and being honest here, to hell with what I say. The important thing is if you were satisfied. As long as your happy, then it came out a success.
DeleteI was in the same boat you were, and still am, so this doesn't come as a cheap shot. More over, was just expressing my view on the story and experience as a whole. I do not doubt the story will blossom, I know how the first issue always turns out to be weak just because there is nothing backing it up. So I was more trying to say I hope they are fleshed out more than just symbolized as stereotype heroes. Meant it in a positive light.
The one thing I have to completely disagree is with the random sex and comic main parts being about the sex. First, these comics are not just about the sex. The main focus of these comics is not just to get your rocks off. It is to explore a way to fuse fetish, sex, and story and create some kind of engaging plot to readers. Do most people use these comics for sex? Yea, I am sure all of us view it as a sexual thing. But once we label it that what difference is it from random porn? Shinra and G9 have talent that can tap into both worlds of fetish and story. As for the sex making it more real, eh. When I see a girl the sexual appeal is to view who they are and then branch from who they are to the fantasies in your mind. Yes many women have sex. Your point is valid, though do we go through life meeting girls and then saying "Oh man, bet she has a boyfriend and a lot of sex". More of a personal nerve you struck there, but not by intentions I know. So I will say that there are other ways. It is not my comic to control, you can add as much sex as you want. As long as your happy, then good.
We shall see how this choice works out. Good idea, but by choosing one you will probably alienate or bring up more people asking why their vote didn't count. I shall be hoping for the best this works for you.
In all, MasterShake, I been on the other end of the firing squad so this is not meant to insult or hurt. I will probably be there again soon. But for me, eh, it just did not do anything for me. I found it interesting as a read through but not something I would pick up again. I do not really care what happened to Arrow and Pyro nor is it on my mind as an exciting prospective of scenarios. I really do not see myself coming back to it, but knowing myself I always like to support Shinra so I probably will give it a glance over to see. I just do not see anything new and exciting or challenging to the formula here.
On a good note though, I am really just a nobody on these forums anyway. I know my voice and opinions are dulled by the masses so in all fairness your comic will probably soar even though my tastes did not suit it. But hey, you got something you wanted done and I am happy for you. Good luck to your next chapter and I wish you the best. :)
update today or tomorrow?
ReplyDeleteA review post by me means I'll start with the usual "oh dear, I'm late again" and "everything I have to say has already been said". There, that has been taken care of.
ReplyDeleteI read the comic yesterday but chose to wait with a review until today because I honestly have no idea what to think of the comic.
It is a superhero comic parody and it will be divided into short chapters. That automatically creates limitations to how deep and epic the overall feel can be. Comparing it to Fallen Star is not fair to this comic: it was never meant to be similar.
Still, it felt a little shallow to me. That's the overall feeling it left.
It does a reasonably good job taking the time to introduce all the characters without overdoing it, while still providing a sex scene and a tf scene. Keeping in mind the smaller amount of pages, this is quite an achievement. The pacing here is much better than the one in HC, I fully agree with Naptragichen.
However, for the most part I agree with Dark Hypnotic that the characters are very simple and shallow. Again, I realize this is a superhero comic parody so you could also argue that it delivers exactly what was intended...hence my confusion about what to think of the comic.
To me, the sex scene felt extremely forced into the comic, like it was a last-minute realization that it was still missing. The scene itself was okay, but it didn't have to be there at all. The story was not yet begging to contain a sex scene so early after getting to know these main characters for a few pages only.
For me personally, the fact that a H3N production should always contain sex (even though Mastershake wrote it) backfired here. Now Panthra is nothing more than the "woman from the sex scene" instead of the vice team leader who has shown me why she has that position and why she is member of Legion in the first place. As DH mentioned, there are other ways to show her relation with Arrowhead.
In a similar fashion, I'm sad that we already lost Hexxia. Sure, it was obvious that the chapter would end with her tf and the resulting cliffhanger, but I felt that with her, the reader at least has had a chance to know her a bit. In that way, she makes a good choice to be the first to fall (at least we got to know her), but many of the remaining Legion members are less developed than her, so you'll have to start all over again in chapter 2 (=exaggerated a bit).
Needless to say, your readers would have lynched you if this chapter didn't have the sex scene and the tf scene, that's what most come here for anyway. But I felt that this chapter didn't need them yet, certainly not both of them.
All reasoning aside, the part in me that likes to see these "money scenes" didn't mind that much. ^_~
It was not as bad as I had feared. It was not as good as I had hoped. Should I criticize it because I've seen better, or should I praise it because it delivers exactly what it should?
I still have no idea, but that should be obvious after reading this messy review of mine. >_<
Last thing to mention is the spelling and grammar. As others have already mentioned, it's a lot better than Fallen Star 7, but I found myself not easily reading past the errors that are there at all. I mean, what happened on page 32? The "servent" is pretty noticable too.
Mastershake, I hope you'll take this well and won't consider me some grammar nazi, but you may want to pay extra attention to your commas next time. While not the gravest of mistakes, the lack of a comma can sometimes create a confusing sentence.
At the very least, page 13 could have used one! >_<
A first chapter is always very tough to make. I'll be looking forward to see how you two will follow this up. Congratulations on your cooperation so far!
Well, the best I can say is that I'll try my best and I'm sorry my story wasn't for you. Judging from this however, I'm not sure you'll like what's to come then, as I only have 5 chapters to play with.
DeleteI have to say that these last to reviews have knocked me off quite a high. I really had thought I had nailed this one. Apparently I was wrong.
As said, you do have nailed it if you only have 5 shorter chapters to work with.
DeleteIt's quite an achievement to make the most of a product despite the limitations.
So looking at it from a creator's perspective, I'd say you did very well and certainly made the most of the first 20% of the total story.
Looking at it from a reader's perspective (while completely ignoring the creator's perspective!), it's a bit shallow.
Doesn't mean I'm going to give up on this or anything, don't worry.
I'm as interested to see what you're going to do with the remainder of the story as everyone else.
It's just that we have been spoiled by Shinra with the massive Fallen Star story and the promising Yoru no Majin story. That's unfair competition for a short, lighthearted superhero story.
I definitely think you are doing well if you are only doing 5 issues. This was a good snapshot for being a 1/5 of the entire story. I'm sure we will see more character expansion and depth over the rest of the series. Everyone needs to realize that Legion is more of a comic and Fallen Star has become more akin to a graphic novel. We didn't get to know the whole Superman lore in Action Comics #1. If we judged Superman based on his first comic, he would be completely one sided and dull. It takes time and issues to build a mythos. We will hopefully see more depth as series goes since they are short. It is a hard balance of both moving a story forward while making your characters more well rounded. All in all, we support regardless of our critiques.
DeleteKeep up the good work and it is great to see so many people have voted, can't wait to see what the future holds for the legion.
is the mask for the corruption of the next people important? or has she done her job?
ReplyDeletewhen can we she the first update of H.C. and The Wizards Sacrifice - Spell 2?
ReplyDeletewhen it will reach 25% ^^
DeleteI found your comic site not too long ago and I have really enjoyed it. The Fallen Star is my favorite, but the Legion is very well done and may become my favorite. You guys are getting better every issue that comes out. Keep up the good work guys.
ReplyDeleteThanks Anonymous.
DeleteI hope you'll like what's coming next ;-)
will we see Bella in the next update ?
ReplyDeleteWhen is the next one coming?
Yes Bella will be present at the party ;-)
DeleteNext one should be there in a month top
update ?
ReplyDeleteUpdatesss will arrive soon ^^
Deletetoday?
ReplyDeleteUpdatesss? is there more then one update?
ReplyDeleteJust came by to tell you that you're a hero xD. The latest update is beyond any words, it's just amazing! Congratulations on your hard work. Waiting for Chapter II, hopefully it isn't going to be a long wait. :D
ReplyDeleteThanks for your kind words.
DeleteUpdatesss will arrive soon means?
ReplyDeleteWhen do you think the next chapter will be finished?
ReplyDeleteis Bella now a Succubus like Gellina or must she do it one more time ? Will we see the update today?
ReplyDeletesorry guys I'm a bit late with the updates, this last couple of weeks has been a ride off at work, coming back home around 11pm everyday.
ReplyDeleteDidn't leave me a lot of room to work on my projects.
Hopefully, it should get better as from tomorrow :-/
How many chapters is that series going to have?
ReplyDeleteIs the purple part of Lisa's skin corruption just like the skin of the succubus from that story?
Is Amelia an important character given the fact she has some kind of parasite in her?
Will we see Leto and Tethys corruption in the next issue of TFS?
What about Karin?
Leto is so qt i relly want to see her corrupted form.. I know it will be beautiful!
this serir should count 5 chapters.
DeleteYes it's part of Lisa's corruption
No Amelia is not that important.
Tethys, Leto and Karin will appear in next chapter but you'll understand that I can't really spoil on their corruption >_<
doesnt matter ^_^ if I know Tethys and Leto are turning evil I will await this issue even if it comes out 2015!!!
Deleteupdate today?
ReplyDeletetodayyyy !
Deletein more than 5 h ?
ReplyDeletehalf an hour top ^^
Deletesince u are still here
Deletenext issue on TFS when??
way too early to say or even extrapolate >_<
Deletei hope it will be ready around christmas. .. best present EVER!
Deletenext update Sa. ? :)
ReplyDelete